Uncovered • Part 1

In every argument, our natural tendency is to cover up instead of confront the issues, usually beginning with criticism (“You always…” “You never…”) that turns to shame and counterattacks with shifting blame: “It’s your fault; if you would just,” The cycle of coverup is what robs a relationship of intimacy and trust. What does God have to say about developing and maintaining the type of relationships He desires for you?

1. What one thing spoke to you from the weekend’s message?

2. How does the cycle of covering up keep people from building intimacy in relationships? How have you seen this cycle play out in other relationships? 

3. Think of a time when you decided that “me” was more important than “we.” How did that conflict turn out? How would you approach it differently if you could try again?

4. Why is it easier to criticize others than confess where we have messed up?

5. Every argument is an opportunity to either keep covering or start confronting. How can you communicate your needs without becoming critical towards another person?

6. How can asking about your spouse’s needs and advocating for your own needs help your relationship?

7. There is some truth in a lot of the criticism we receive. However, we don’t like to admit our faults because they bring us shame. How has shame influenced you in your relationships?

8. When we blame others, we shift responsibility from us to them. We think blame decreases the conflict, but in reality, blame only intensifies a conflict. Why do you think that is?

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